Web links to related sites. The colours of this page will be changed to reflect Cathy's love of colour.

Please Email "Cathy" stories and memories to Fred . Thank you. fpentney@timemanage.com

Obituary in Kingston Whig

Obituary in-Frontenac News

Message to Grandchildren:

Fred's "Farewell to Cathy" speech and poems

'Almost Home' story Cathy's final journey.

Cathy's writings:

The Old Pond

Stories from you:

Myra and Cathy pie fest

From Carol and Peter (family)

From Jerry A. 'Dancing for Joyce' at Arbour Heights.

From Brenda S. 'Fear and fussy.'

From Patricia C. 'Generosity'

See Cathy's family Facebook pages for more picture and messsages

Cathy's charity of choice for donations

Timeless love

Poem's to Cathy's friend

Sept. 29, 2016

Dec. 29, 2016

Feb. 7, 2017

March 26, 2017

(6 months)

     
In loving memory of Cathy Bovey
My partner in life, mentor and inspiration, Fred
   

 
Nov. 10, 1940-Sept. 26, 2016

Cathy passed away, graceful as always, after a very short but valiant struggle against a previously undiagnosed cancer. Her courage stands as a testament to her strong will, self reliance and high standards. Second of ten children, (mother Bertha Lynch, father Al), raised in Lansdowne, Cathy set out on her own path as a teenager. I have had the pleasure of meeting most of Cathy's siblings and their partners and received a warm welcome by all.

Loving daughters, Pam (Richard), Jan (Anthony), grandchildren Kate, Reg, Jack Armstrong, Elly and Ross Ayling are custodians of Cathy's legacy of living a meaningful joy filled life.

Cathy and I met at Shirley Skinner's Legion dances on Montreal Street. We spent about eight months of sporadic casual dance floor interactions before finally leaping across the great chasm of risk that leaves behind solitude and uncertainty. We had both settled into a comfortable routine as 'singles' and were quite surprised to be 'getting serious.' A few after-dance casual meetings with friends, a luncheon date with Ron and Dorothy D. in Windmills restaurant our history was in the making. We had a lot of things in in common and uncommon, but our similar natural curiosity inspired us both to find out what made the other person 'tick' and that kept us going for the first year. We also both had a sensitivity that gave us good base to work from, and caring and affection were fundamental for smoothing bumps. At the three year mark a friend of mine asked,"Oh are you two still together? " "Yes" I replied, "We are focussing on what works, not what doesn't work." We had quickly learned that we had very similar values in the important areas - values as foundations for the continuing relationship. Oh, did I mention that we laughed a lot, loved finding obscure movie to watch, cooking together and just being together? At our 'stage of life' we were blessed to have found each other' and shared some wonderful times. That thought, however, does not help ease the pain of loss.

One of the biggest challenges we had was Cathy adjusting to the back country way of life. I live on Long L ake near Parham. Not that Cathy wasn't familiar with rural living, but she had worked very hard to create a comfortable lifestyle, and her carefully planned condo apartment and personal surroundings attested to this. Even though I had high speed internet, running water and flush toilets she was somewhat shocked by the length of the to-do-lists necessary to live out in the woods. But, being the trooper she was, she pitched in and carved herself a little niche in the garden to call her own: planted vegetables in the vegetable void, filled flowers pots and personalized her space at the 'cottage.' This included removing all my curtains and the tape and staples that held them onto the rods, and meticulously measuring and sowing them to make the place look like the Hilton. Cathy had heightened senses in all areas, especially visual, hearing, taste and touch. Her visual gave her an acuity in fashion and photography. She liked one part of the cottage area for it contrast in lighting. We called it the 'Mossy-Fernway.' I will dedicate this area of the cottage to Cathy with a plaque. The idea for the entranceway to this area was inspired by Cathy-fencing and a gateway made from old logs.

Cathy's condo group of friends were a mainstay in Cathy's life, especially her social group committee. This group of ladies, Jane, Shelna, Joanne, Mary Ellen and Rose both organized and ran some of the most memorable dinners for the residents and friends of Greenview Towers. Theme parties, outdoor parties with live music, games nights and pool gatherings were the backbone of social life at the residence. Cathy's reputation as a social convener with her group gave her both lasting memories and friendships with the residents. I had the pleasure of meeting many of them as a 'draw ticket' cashier for various functions. Musicians who played there included John Storms (Cheryl), Richard Abernathy-who is fighting his own health challenge, and Bill Drader who is still in touch with the residents and was a good friend and companion of Cathy's for over 10 years. Bill and I are best friends and play music together. We had dinner together on the day that Cathy passed away and were able to share many great memories of Cathy while trying to find meaning in the sadness of her loss.

Dancing was another of Cathy's great loves. We invented our own walse steps (at least I had) despite taking dance lessons in Harrowsmith with Linda and John Tromellen. We would dance around my living room and onto the deck and back in again to music from my collection of two hundred eight tracks, boxes of cassettes and 78's so sold old they were only pressed on one side. Cathy's musical ability was evident when we competed on Karaoke with friends. To this day Cathy holds the record score of 96/100. Her pitch perfect ear and voice, love of her favorite artist songs and words gave her the edge. Kris Kristoferson, Gene Watson and Merle Haggard were part of her wide range of music loves. We attended various live shows in Kingston which ranged from Randy Backmann to the Four Tenors. Cathy encouraged me in getting my guitar out of it's case and writing songs. I find solace today in still doing that knowing she might still be singing along.

Through the dancing we formed some great friendships. These often resulted in get-togethers, outdoor concerts, dinner parties, home visits and vacation stop overs. Special mention to Ron and Karen for hosting us in Ontario and in Florida; Marilyn, Mary, Emile, Suzzane, Mario, and Kevin for some memorable times. Barb. D. and Cathy enjoyed a great vacation in Arizona where Cathy finally got to see the Grand Canyon. And a big thank you to all who came to Cathy's 75th, truly a surprise, second birthday party.

Another shared love that was quite a coincidence was putting some time and effort in Halloween costumes. Cathy's master seamstress skills gave her the edge in producing finely crafted outfits. My imagination and quasi engineered outfits provided another perspective. We were pleased to win first prize at Shirley's Halloween dances for two years in a row. We had discovered that we had both won many first prizes in years previously before we met.

Cathy's funeral service was held at Our Lady of Lourdes, Days Road, Kingston, October 7, 2016. Flowers from family, chosen by Cathy.

Mass, Priest: Father Brennan

Prelude Hymn: Ave Maria. Processional Hymn: Morning Has Broken

Gathering Prayer, Liturgy of the Word

First Reading: Kim Driscoll Ecclesiastes 3.1-11

Second Reading: Mary Jo Lynch, 2 Timothy 4.Flowers from family, chosen by Cathy 6-8. Gospel: Matthew 5.1-12

Preparation of Gifts, Hymn: Peace Prayer

Liturgy of the Eucharist. Communion Hymn: Be Not Afraid. Recessional Hymn: Amazing Grace

The reception after-this view shows about half the hall.

Cathy on a walk near Mountain Grove. She is now walking into the light beyond the trees.

Picture was placed in Cathy's 'In Memoriam notice' Sept 26, 2017 with the words:

"You Were My Light. You Shine As Brightly As Ever." Fred

 

Cathy's pictures by group.

Cathy memorial plaque at the cottage

Cathy growing up*

Cathy all seasons

Cathy Fred

Cathy family:

Cathy 75th bday with family

Cathy 75th bday condo party

Cathy's men

Cathy friends:

Cathy at cottage with friends

Friends near and far

Cathy Writers' Ink

Cathy condo random

Cathy China trip 2014

Halloween costumes:

Cathy Florida 2016

Cathy/Fred's family

Cathy's To-Do-List for Fred

More coming:

* Last posting Feb.. 7, 2017. Added poem

Cards and letters rec'd: partial list. Thank you to all.

Your cards link

Aded-Keg. Alec Brookes. . Alice Marlin. Anne. Archie Meeks. Angela Franke. Arja Art. Barb. Dafoe. Barbara Patrick. Berta Plaschka. Betty Cunningham.. Bill Drader. Bill Thomas. Bill Richards. Bob Collins. Bob Allen. Brenda. Bruce Buttimore. Bruce -Petrie Ford. Bud and Maybelle. .Carol. Carol Carry Lilly.Cat Pedro. Catherine Johnson. Cathy Alders. . Cel. Chery. Colin and Pat Humphrey. Cheryl Storms. Chris Barfitt. Chris Stesky. Clint Sagrift and Therry Lassard. Colleen Clark. Craig D. Craig and Joyce Halton. Dar Check. Dave and Carol. David Coombs. Dave Combe. Dawn Patterson. Deborah Glew. Denice.King. Denise Pinsonnault.. Diana Spadic. Diane Mitchell, Don McCrow. Don Landry. Donna Wagner Donna Hiuser Doreen and Don. Doreen. Jordan. Dorothy. Duane and Merle. Ellen Barrett. Ed Whelan. Eleanor Pah. Ellie Macklin. Eric. Erin and Bob, (Alberta).Ernie (Dance) .Faye Baker . Francois Lacroix. Frunst. Gail. Gary Schleiffer: Gary and Jane Drew, Gene and Mary. Grace Kingston. Hazel Haneault Heather. and Eric. Heather Jackson. Heather Aldous Brown Herb Howard. Howard and Marlene Mayo. Irene J.W. Jane. Jane. Janet Watson. Hanley Janice Hickingbottom Jen. Jerry Ackerman. Jim. McMullen. Jill and Wayne. Joan Cherry Joanne Hartnell Joe and Gail Majkurt. John Ford John and Cheryl .Johnson. John John Varty and Myra. John and Cheryl Storms. John Chartrand. Joyce. Judi Fox. Judy Mason and Kevin Palmer. Karen. Kathleen Caswell. Kelly. Ken Currie. Kim. Linda and Peter Whipple. Lee Hammell. Lee Keeler. Les from Toronto.. Linda Leach. Lisa Moses Liz. Gordon Liz Janzen. Lorna Campbell. . Lynn Shane Lynn Ze. Mabel Delaney. Mabelle Maggie Pearson. Mary and Bob. MirianFr. Maria Zielinski Margie P. Maria. Mario. Marilyn Martin. Marilyn. Meeks. Marjolie Mark Wardley Marlene Mary Dobson. Mary, Margaret and Bert Ivey. Margie and Ron. Marjolie Evans. Mary E. Melanie Robertson-King Merle Michael YU Nancy Hilder Naomi Ono. Nerissa Pineda Nirmal Jain Noel. Norma Clarke. Norma Kenny. Pat Cove. Patricia Capitain. Patrick and Susan Kehoe. Pascal. Karen Katherine. Alexandre. Phyllis and Eric Barr. Rafael and Cathy Ferrandez Rick Rob. Ferguson. Rob Roger Haneault. Rolf Satler. Ron Lloyd & Karen Sharon Ryan Sandra J. Jackson Shelna Paton , Sheri-Petrie Ford. Shirley Skinner. Stů Sue Bates Jerry and Conrad., Susan Morris. Susan Ross. Susie. Susan Leach. Suzzane Millar. Suzzanne St. Pierre. Sylvia Powers. Taylor Whitney. Terry. Than Nguyen. Therry Vasili and Theresa. Vera Vibeke. Victor Heese. Virginia Glover Wendy P. William. Winnie Nimmo. Winnie. Pietrykowski

88 names from Shirley's dance included-from card.

Wilket Creek (The Creakers) Running Group.

Fred's Parham, neighborhood.

Cathy's condo friends.

See Cathy's family Facebook pages for more picture and messsages

 
Cathy's life celebration farewell, including poems.

Cathy and I had a very emotional relationship that was based on poetry. Actually it was the lack of poetry that got her emotionally fired up. Soon after we met she spotted a framed poem in my hallway titled, "What's a Rose without some Prose?" "When are you going to write a poem like that for me?" she would often lament. "Poetry doesn't just come mechanically" I would say, "It takes time to prime the emotional well-spring deep down inside the soul, then as it begins to fill, there is a trickle and eventually it bursts forth and begins roar and flow like a torrent, unceasing." "You can talk your way out of anything!" That was one of her favorite expressions. I would fire back. "It's hard to write poetry about a person and the joy they get from brushing their teeth!"

And so it began. Over the past four years the poetry did begin to flow, just in time for her 75 th birthday party, which some of you attended. Today I will read the slightly revised version. I changed the titles to reflect Cathy's boundless energy, vitality, those long legs previously mentioned, her gracefulness, and excitement about everything... Cathy reminded me of a thoroughbred filly, so I named the poem,

"Lansdownes Answer to Northen Dancer"

or if you like the shorter title, "Hot to Trot."

"Hot to Trot"

To music from B.G.'s "Staying Alive."

Well, you can tell by the way she uses her walk

That this lady can do much more than talk

Lansdowne born, but out of there fast

This gals set on a lifetime blast.

Gananoque was next, but way to slow

It's the big lights where she wanted to go

So, Kingston bound with husband at heel

It the beat of the music she wants to feel

A couple of kids, Pam and Jan

Lots of shopping to make them glam

Trips with friends to sunny climes

Keep making the money and save them dimes

Making dresses and doing the chores

A good twenty years but a bit of a bore

A change of pace was in the works

This lady's going meet some jerks

Two jobs and a chic new condo

Lots more travel but no one to bond to

So, put on the lipstick and a nice pretty dress

Hit Shirley's dance floor with some real finesse

Now life's going somewhere kinda nice

Lot of friends and fun in the condo life

And then, right there, out of the blue

Along comes Fred, "Well how do you do?"

So, here we are just'a looking back

It all went so fast-just clickety clack,

Today, family and friends have come to celebrate

One of the finest ever out of the gate, our Cathy

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The next poem, "Touched" gives tribute to Cathy's influence on anything and everything she put her mind to. Cathy was a master project manager. I was a project.

"Touched"

She gave me cookies, I thought I was special. She gave everyone she liked cookies.

She dressed up for me on dance nights She dressed up for every dance night with or without Me.

She planned trips with me to exotic places She went to them with her friends.

She told me I had nice clothes, She showed me how to buy better ones

She said I had a nice garden, It would look nicer with the right flowers.

Slowly but surely she crept into my life, not like a thief in the night

But like a fast moving glacier, touching everything

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Next, there was the poem written during her valiant battle with cancer, named "Love's Foundations." I shall just read you the last two lines.

I quoted them to Cathy everyday I saw her. The first line attests that she did have a huge influence on me, I had been listening. We would hold hands: I would say:

"You have given me a path to follow." Cathy would smile, knowingly.

When I quoted the last line she would squeeze my hands ever so, ever so tightly:

"From me draw strength in time of need."

At first, at Humber River hospital we thought the strength would be for her healing from her operation. In the last weeks at home and in St. Mary's it would be strength for the final journey she knew she would be embarking on.

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And now she is in the next dimension I have a little poem for her-remember her strong influence wherever she goes?

Cathy loved to brush her teeth

She liked to make them sparkle

Hark the herald angels sing

Gargle, gargle, gargle.

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And a recent poem, written since Cathy passed away-I've called it "Cathy's Touch."

"Cathy's Touch"

How can life just go on? Doesn't the universe know that we're hurting?

Someone we loved just passed away

And other people are flirting

What sense does it make to risk your soul?

To know it can be ripped apart

Why open the door to let someone in

To end up with a broken heart?

I'll tell you what I learned from my pain

That it's not about me, me and me

It's about what you can do

To make someone else be happy

That what Cathy did every day

Reached out and touched a soul

She never tired of giving of herself

Her gifts, her touch made people whole

When she knew of her body's mess

I asked what she was thinking

She said of all the people in her life

And how they had made her happy

They didn't know how treasured they were

How much they touched her heart

She found the good in everyone

And a caring friendship would start

So don't define why people make you mad

Ask why they give you happiness

And then in turn, let them know

Why in your life they are a blessing

Please add this to your approach

Make it part of daily living

You'll add meaning to Cathy's life

A legacy of unselfish giving

Fred, After

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And TODAY, when I go home there will be a new framed poem hanging in my hallway, and it will contain the short poem that I wrote in the last few days of Cathy's life, which we all could have written.

"I will miss you today,

But I will love you forever."

Thank you. End of my "Farewell to Cathy speech."

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The following poems have been written since Cathy left us.

Today is the day after the beautiful funeral service at Our Lady of Lourdes church with thanks to Father Brennan for his thoughtful and evocative summary of Cathy's strong faith and the support it provided her. Everyone tells me time will help. I find writing helps.

"Untitled, Unbridled Sadness"

My mind is in disarray today

The love of my has life passed away

Not today but a week or more

The agony feels so deep and sore.

The tears that often come and go

On a whim they start to flow

A thought of what might have been

Is all it takes to start a stream

Should I rail against the gods

Or rant and rave to any bod.

Who will take the time to listen?

To make the wet cheeks simply glisten

So dear reader, it shall be you

Who in your kindness without to do

Took the time to read this piece

And with that kindness bring me peace.

Fred

The next poem was for her close friend and neighbor, but can be for all her friends.

Blessed we were to share this love

A spirit so rare and pure

Never again, might we hope

Such a pain like this endure

Words alone such as these

Will simply skim the surface

Our deeds and acts they alone

Will give meaning and a purpose

So dear friend take my hand

Fear not that you are alone

It is with you I stand

For our friend in her new home.

 

In loving memory of Cathy, Fred

A year end reflection, Dec. 29, 2016

Cathy

Like a thief, fate stole her life

She was robbed

A door left open, in it came,

Struck and went and left naught but pain?

And what was in her life that we should know

A joy, vitality, a golden glow?

A thrill to wake up every day

Make the bed and up up and away

Lists of things, placed in priority

First things first, her soriorty

Get them done, don't hesitate

Strict on time and never late

Did she have a sense of urgency

Of an upcoming emergency?

That drove her hard every day

To get things done, put away

We don't know, yet can surmise

That fate's curse did truly surprise

She had thought through deeds and giving

She earned her place amongst the living

Then why we rail, did fate choose her to go

What purpose, what plan to show?

That naught it means to live quite rightly

That death is blindů.it's mark unsightly

So, what did we learn from our dear friend

That it matters not what the end?

She left her mark and that's the core

Death missed that, we know for sure.

 

Fred

Feb. 7, 2017 As the month's go by the days are still long.

Waiting Time

Yes, I know how to 'fix myself'

But time has not yet assuaged

The guilt of things unsaid, that I felt

For which a price must first be paid

I strain to hold myself in check

Forgo the quick and easy fix

I heed not life's call and beck

Now or future, I stay here inbetwix

Fred

 

March 26, 2017. This is a song I wrote for Cathy and posted it in her memory at 6 months.

Cathy's song.

Today was our big day, really big day

I got on a stage and sang some songs

But perhaps you didn't know

Because you went away, you should have been there all along

It was you that encouraged me to sing

Because music was in your heart and soul

And now with that gift you did me bring

We have reached our common goal.

You wanted me to feel the music's beat

The way you did when we danced

And so I committed to learn just how

And the stage in Arden gave me the chance.

There were four other men that played along

Dave, Larry, Pat and Miles

I was a bit off key, forgot some words of all three songs

But someone clapped and others smiled.

I came off stage and drove on home

A tear trickled down, feeling really blue

I shouldn't have been there all alone

Cathy, today and this song are just for you.

Fred

Cathy - In Memoriam- one year. Sept. 26, 2016-17

A few 'friends of Cathy' gathered in her former condo building to share memories, photographs and stories. Fred created a book of poems he has written for Cathy (above) and distributed copies.

We regret a very small number of people were invited due to space limitations. We wish you could have all been there. We probably talked about you or saw your pictures with Cathy again. Copies of the two obituary notices Fred placed in the Frontenac News and Kingston Whig were on hand.

Thanks to Shelna our hostess and others who contributed a nice selection of finger foods, cakes and refreshments. Jane had saved a bottle of Cathy's famous home made wine and some of us sampled it bring back fond memories of Cathy bringing home cases every month or so. Others guests included Peter, Cathy's older brother and his wife Carol who drove in from Brockville; Joanne shared fond memories; Shirley Skinner and her partner Ernie. Shirley was instrumental in Cathy and Fred getting together at the dances. Mario and Mary came without their respective partners.

Letters of regret with warm sentiments were read out from Myra and John, Cathy's former neighbor and Cathy's travel partner to Arizona Barb Dafoe. Bill Drader, Marilyn and Suzzane were unable to attend. Shirley Skinner was presented her "Lifetime Achievement Award" for the third time in three weeks. The idea of the award in some form came from Cathy, Fred and friends a couple of years ago.

Fred visited Norma, Cathy's former neighbor and shared memories of the event with her in the evening.

If you are reading this, say thank you to Someone for the gift of life, and tell someone you love them. Fred

 

Nov. 10, 2017 Cathy's birthday today.

I danced with your memory today

celebrated your life on earth in a most pleasant way.

We had often danced just on whim

around the furniture and onto the deck.

life's so short, so what the heck.

You're still with me everyday through thoughts and things

touch points which smiles and tears gently bring

But despite the loss, regrets and wishes

the memories are rich and now spiritually delicious.

So my dear whereever you may be in this great eternity

It 's still your day, so a loving Happy Birthday!

 

In memoriam, Sept. 26, 2018

I let the date go by without haste to make a post

You know that you are still honored and missed

Time and circumstance fill the void of your loss

But time marches on in selfish bliss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   
Pearson